New Moms can have a lot on their plates. You find out that you have a whole new, little life that you are now getting prepared for and will be responsible for the rest of your life. Since this will be my very first blog post, I figured it was appropriate to make it about the person who inspired my blog. Our little Lana Rose entered the world about 8 months ago, and it’s hard to believe that it won’t be long before we have a 1 year old. I know everyone says this, but time really does fly! Speaking of time, I thought I would share some of the phases I went through as a new Mom. Here are 7 stages new Moms can go through:
It doesn’t matter if your pregnancy is a surprise or not, I think all new moms go through this first phase after they find out they are pregnant. You think, “Is this really happening?!” Fast forward to the extra pregnancy tests you take, and then you still want that first doctor’s appointment to confirm everything. Some new moms announce the pregnancy right away, but I know lots of women who are like me and wait until those first few months pass by just to be safe. There is nothing wrong with either approach. I think it just depends on how you think you would be able to handle everyone knowing about it if something happens. Every person has their own way of dealing with things, and that is okay! 🙂
If you are finding out the gender soon, the excitement really kicks in, because you are so ready to go spend some serious money on whatever adorable baby clothes you can find. I went shopping for baby girl clothes the very day that I found out! Then there is also the exciting task of decorating the nursery. This could actually seem stressful to some people, but the more we worked on Miss Lana’s room, the more real the situation became. This just made me even more happy.
I am an only child, and I was never really around many babies or children when I was growing up. However, I have always had a strong desire to have a baby/babies and a family of my own. I also like to be very organized and prepared, so there were a million thoughts crossing my mind as the time drew closer for Lana to arrive. I thought, “I want to be completely ready for her when she gets here. I want to know how to do everything that she needs.” A woman can stress herself out enough as it is thinking about everything to come, but then you also ALWAYS have the opinions and “advice” of others.
I believe some people are truly wanting to help, but I also know that plenty of other people make unnecessary comments or ask private questions (which are none of their business) just to be nosy or make themselves feel better about how they did things with their own children. This is supposed to be a happy time for a woman. You should be telling her positive things and asking positive questions. For example, almost everyone tends to say, “Be ready to get no sleep!” How does this help? Instead, a person should say something like, “Those late night baby sessions are some of the best memories I had with my baby. You will feel like the luckiest person in the world.” Others may ask, “Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding?” (Let me mention again here that this is none of anyone else’s business. They are just nosy.) This question actually wouldn’t be so bad if the person didn’t almost ALWAYS follow up with their opinion on whether you should be doing one or the other (as if you haven’t already thought a TON about your own decision). The same thing goes for the common question about whether or not you are planning on getting an epidural.
Basically, this is a time where people should be supportive and saying positive things. They should want what is best for you and want you to be happy and excited. If someone says something that makes you feel like they are crossing the line, you should tell them that you don’t really want to talk about that (easier said than done, right?). I will say that it gets easier to be honest and straightforward with people after you have a baby. Sometimes it is easier to stand up for yourself when it really isn’t just about yourself anymore.
Then comes the time where you have pretty much everything ready to go, and you don’t want to wait any longer. You feel like you have clown feet, and who knows what other symptoms you are blessed with in that last bit of time before baby’s arrival. I had to take a picture of my feet near the end, because I just had to show some people how big they got after walking around shopping all day! At this point, you feel like you are just ready to see that precious baby’s face! I mean, how much more stuff can you possibly organize?
So you have had your bundle of joy now. You just got through whatever craziness it took to get him/her here. Lana decided to come about a week and a half early by c-section, and I will say it was by far the scariest moment of my entire life. The closest thing I had ever had to a surgery at the time was getting my wisdom teeth pulled, but when I heard her very first cry all of my worries and anxiety melted away. Once you get home with baby, a lot of people will ask how he/she is sleeping and ask if you need anything as they imagine your exhaustion. In an interesting way, this time of constant feedings and changing diapers day and night, was one great, big moment of peace for me. Luckily, my husband was able to stay at home with us for a while after she was born, and the feeling of having the people I loved most in the world all around me was indescribable. Those moments late at night looking into her eyes made me feel the most calm and content I have ever felt. It was a time of peace and a time of thankfulness.
Now that you have come to terms with the fact that your baby is finally here, you want to share his/her cuteness with all of your friends and family! You upload those pictures to Social Media with excitement, and then you decide to add a quick apology for uploading so many with your baby’s face. You can’t help it at this point, because every little thing your baby does is amazing to you! You can’t imagine how other people wouldn’t appreciate it too! Luckily, this phase of picture obsession fades a little bit after a while (for some people), and you learn what pictures truly should be posted (you decide that maybe you don’t need to post those twenty additional photos of your baby’s expressions this morning). Of course, the pride never fades, though, and it shouldn’t. A Mom can never be too proud of her baby.
7. Mother Hen
I decided to call this last phase the Mother Hen phase, because a Mother will truly do anything for her children. However, I’m not really into that whole exclaiming to the world, “You don’t mess with my child!” You do what you know is best for your child(ren), and that is all you can do. You want to be a good example of love and kindness for them. You want to show them how to handle situations with grace and understanding, because it won’t be long before they are having to deal with tough situations on their own. You want them to know confidence and be able to stand their ground on their decisions, while also having the humility to admit when they are wrong. You love your children with everything you have, and you are doing your best.