It seems like the number of close friends you have as you get older gets lower and lower. I’ve discovered that this isn’t really a bad thing, because the friends you still have tend to be very good ones. You really start to notice your true friends once you became a wife and a mother. We should not blame the friends we have lost, though. It is a natural thing that occurs in life. When we were younger, we bonded with others based on less important things (who we had classes with, sports, who else liked to “party”, etc). As we get older, we bond with others based on what is more important (our families, personal beliefs, current interests and hobbies, etc). Here are the 8 things this mom looks for in a true friend:
1. You can be yourself around them.
I’m talking about laughing for no reason, being the goofiest person ever, and they still want to be around you. In fact, they join right in. They seem to get your kind of weird, and you don’t have to worry about what they are thinking every single second. This is a judgment free zone.
2. You can trust them.
This is a friend that you don’t have to watch what you say around. You don’t have to choose your words wisely, and you don’t have to think that what you are telling them will get around shortly. Because let’s face it…if a friend is talking badly about someone else to you, they will probably do the same thing to you.
3. You know they want what is best for you.
You know that it isn’t a competition. You both want each other to be successful, and you don’t dislike when something great happens to the other person. They are supportive of you through everything. They also won’t rub your nose in their success. They can be excited about something good that happens, but they don’t just talk about themselves every single second. They want to know what is going on in your life as well.
4. You can be honest with them.
Since you want what is best for each other, you have to be honest. Some “friends” will think that you are making a horrible decision, but they will just say, “I’m so happy for you!” They will simply avoid conflict and then talk behind your back. Sometimes you have to take the harder route and bring up your concerns. Then you can talk about the issue and feel better in the end, despite what decision the other person makes. At least you were honest.
5. You can agree to disagree.
You love and respect the differences that you have. They understand if you aren’t really into something that they like to do, but you also know that you are always invited. They also don’t get all bent out of shape if you do something with someone else. They aren’t insecure about your relationship. You may have different beliefs and opinions, but you respect that.
6. You can go months or even years without seeing each other (depends on where you live), and it’s like nothing has changed.
Absence really can make the heart grow fonder. You know that no matter how long it’s been since you have seen them, you can pick right back up where you left off. They are just like family. You may not see them for a while, but you still love them just the same. You meet up with them, and the conversation just keeps flowing.
7. They don’t try to make you feel guilty.
Sometimes you can’t make an event or even multiple events. Life gets crazy, and sometimes you are just happy to get to lay on the couch at home with your family. When you say you have plans, sometimes that may be what your plans are. No guilt or shame there. Your friend understands that. Any time that you are able to spend time with them, they feel appreciative.
8. You love spending time with them.
They are awesome! Of course you love to spend time with them. That’s why you are close friends. You don’t dread when they text you or message you on social media. You are excited to hear from them. You don’t feel obligated to do something with them, because you really enjoy being in their presence. They give you that laid back, fun escape from life, and you take full advantage of it when you can. They are one of your true friends.